Monday, April 2, 2012

Drawing Air: a glimpse into the mind of an addict

Seeing things through affixed shaded lenses
Like a stuck pair of dark sunglasses
Is my reality
Each day praying for a chance
To see more light
Some days I care about what you think
Other days I don’t
’Cause I’m focusing solely on me
And drawing air
I need to be loved without condition
I need someone to be there when I call
I need to be human
And to see that other Christians are human too
Teach me how to apply scripture
Through your words AND actions
Share the love of Christ
Even when you don’t feel like it
But remember ONLY Jesus can be my Savior
So create healthy boundaries
Remember your own family
Lifting me and my family up in prayer too
Allow the Holy Spirit to be your guide
Helping me to sense
His voice
Seeing things through affixed shaded lenses
Like a stuck pair of dark sunglasses
Is my reality
Each day praying for a chance
To see more light
Some days I care about what you think
Other days I don’t
’Cause I’m focusing solely on me
And drawing air
 
Rebecca O’Brien


Friday, March 30, 2012

Study #12: “I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me”

John 15:5
I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.

Ephesians 2:10
For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life. 

Jeremiah 29:11
For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. 

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

2 Corinthians 12:9
...but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.


Working with addicts can be a very challenging and also a very rewarding experience. It is of the utmost importance for you to keep your eyes on Christ while ministering to anyone. He is the vine and we are the branches, and without Him we can do nothing (John 15:5). Remember that every individual has a different history, a different present, and a different future than anyone else in the world—just as each snowflake is its own masterpiece, our Creator created each one of us and He has the good plan in place (Ephesians 2:10, Jeremiah 29:1).

An addict (and often the family of an addict) does not see things from a normal set of eyes. Bear in mind that only God can remove the scales, which hinder spiritual, emotional, and mental sight. May we all have eyes to see and ears to hear. Selah. Another helpful hint for assisting the self-focused addict—whether it be to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, food, etc.—is that even when he or she is trying with all of his/her might, it is only God who can truly heal. We must always redirect our focus to Christ. One helpful way to refocus direction is by praying the “10-Finger Prayer,” which simply is, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) Finally, as St. Paul said in his letter to the Corinthians, remember that when we are weak, God’s power is made perfect and is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).

As you embark on this journey, may you be a vessel for Christ to work through and may His love overflow in your heart, spilling onto all that cross your path. In the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

• How does God ask me to minister to the addict? To his/her family?
• Why is it important for me to keep close to Christ while embarking on any ministry adventure? What measures can I take to make sure I am, indeed, doing so?
• What kind of boundaries might I need to have in place while ministering to someone who suffers from addiction?
• What are some ways I can verbally and plainly share the Gospel with an addict? How is the Gospel evident in my own daily life?

Rebecca O’Brien, USA

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Study #11: A Family Disease

Ephesians 1:16
I do not cease to give thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers. 


I was surprised to learn that alcoholism was a family disease. I thought it was only my father’s problem. My father was a brilliant college professor. He knew every fact in the encyclopedia, yet he did not know how to drink. I was a kid and wondered how he could be so dumb. He became a different man when
he drank.

Dad’s alcoholism was a source of shame and embarrassment for my brothers, my sisters, my mom, and me. We could never have parties. We could never have friends over on the weekend, because what if Dad was drinking?

I ran away from home without leaving. I became overly involved in school, church, sports, and the community theater program. I excelled at everything; everything except staying home.

One weekend after a particularly bad round of Dad’s drinking, Mom threatened to leave. I encouraged her to. A few days later, the whole family confronted Dad, telling him how his drinking was affecting all of us (even ruining our lives). This is tough for me to remember. I felt so terrible that we were inflicting emotional pain on Dad. But after that intervention, Dad drove off with a family friend to his first attempt at rehab. On his third try, I believe it worked. I love my dad and I love my family. I don’t believe he intended to hurt us. And we did not mean to hurt him.

There are still times, 18 years after his sobriety, that I don’t feel safe. I question him and I doubt myself. I feel ashamed, embarrassed, and insecure for no good reason.

I don’t know if God hears me when I pray. I have my doubts. I have felt that if Dad was not there for me as a father, then how could God the Father be there for me? At times the feminine face of God, a more loving and nurturing God, speaks to me. I pray to a gentle parent who won’t hurt or embarrass me.

I know alcoholism is a family disease. It was not my father’s illness alone. It belonged to all of us. There are ways that the family learned to adjust to Dad’s drinking that were not functional. One way I coped was by running away without ever leaving home.

One challenge for me is to not run away when times are tough in my own marriage and with my own kids. There are times I want to run away. When I pray for alcoholics, I pray for their families too. I give thanks that God helps me cope. I give thanks that I remember the tough times of my own childhood, so that I can be more compassionate to myself and to others.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

• What are ways I have learned to cope that may not be healthy?
• Where can I go when I want to run away?
• To whom can I turn? Is God a source of embarrassment for me? How do I find a more loving God?
• Does God really hear us when we pray?

Anonymous

Monday, March 26, 2012

Study #10: Treating Yourself As a Symbol of God

Genesis 1:27
So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Leviticus 19:2
Speak to all the congregation of the people of Israel and say to them: You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.


John Wesley felt his heart strangely warmed while hearing Martin Luther’s preface to Romans read aloud. I felt my heart strangely warmed when I read Man’s Quest for God, a book by Jewish scholar Abraham Joshua Heschel. In his book he quotes Genesis 1:27.

Heschel uses this verse to talk about humans being a symbol for God, both body and soul. It is the unity of body and soul that makes a person and it is that same unity that is created in the image of God. Not just the good parts—all of us. Heschel says that we must treat each other as symbols of God. That is what blew my mind. How many things do I wish I could take back? How many things do I want to apologize for—right now?

Being created in the image of God means that we don’t have to be ashamed of the parts of our lives that don’t fit the perfect Christian image we have in our heads. It means that we fit in. We, too, are created in the image of God. We don’t have to leave the messy bits at home. We belong, even with the messy parts. God accepts and loves us as a whole—our bodies and our souls.

Heschel says, “Treat yourself as a symbol of God.” That seemed even harder than treating others as symbols of God. Treat myself as a symbol of God? Somehow it was easier to accept that other people are symbols for God, but me? No way. I think that wholeness comes when we believe this to be true. As long as we believe that we are less than, as long as we believe that others deserve better treatment than we do, we will always be fragmented, both in our relationships with others and with God.

Treating yourself as a symbol of God could mean different things to different people. You know what that could mean for you. When you are able to do that, you are closer to wholeness, closer to holiness, closer to the person that God created you to be (Leviticus 19:2). God wants wholeness for us. God created us as a unity of body and soul and wants us to be holy and whole. God wants for us to treat each other and ourselves as images of God.

Heschel says: “The divine symbolism of man is not what he has—such as reason or the power of speech—but in what he is potentially: he is able to be holy as God is holy. To imitate God, to act as [God] acts in mercy and love, is the way of enhancing our likeness.” It’s not about where you are now. It’s about where you can be. It doesn’t matter how far you’ve fallen. You are still created in the image of God and are in a position to enhance that image. You may feel that the image is a bit faded, but it’s been there all along. Go treat yourself as a symbol of God.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion


• What does it mean, to you, to be created in the image of God? Does it make you uncomfortable to be called holy? Why?
• Are you surprised that body and soul are created in the image of God?
• What are you going to do to treat yourself as a symbol of God?

Emily Echols, USA

Friday, March 23, 2012

Introduction to Wholeness: Taking the Gospel of Wholeness Out Into a Hurting World

Matthew 10:7-8
As you go, proclaim the good news, ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. You received without payment; give without payment.


Bert (name changed) lived on the streets, slept in parks and under bridges in Copenhagen for more than 30 years; today he has his own room in a halfway house run by The United Methodist Church, and he is healthier and happier than he has been for several years. Knud (name changed) a former cruise-line chef, started drinking, and then lost his job, dropped out of the system, and lived for several years with a woman who sold her body. When she died, he had no one, no social security number, he simply didn’t exist, and he was seriously ill. One day he came to the UMC Centralmission in Copenhagen, and one of our pastors took care of him and helped him to get his identity back. He got a social security number and was able to go to the hospital for treatment. Today, Knud cooks in the church for the homeless people several days a week.

Our neighborhoods are full of broken people. Some of them are clearly visible on the streets, others are hidden behind closed doors. In our finest hours we stop and make an effort to help. Most of the time, just as any other pastor or teacher, we look the other way, we stride by, we are too busy, and we don’t really care.

And yet, we are sent out into the world, like Christ once sent his disciples, to bring the wholeness of the kingdom, health, life, restoration, and goodness. According to Matthew, Jesus emphasizes the Jewish people as the primary receivers of this good news; however, from other Gospel passages we know that Jesus put no restrictions on his message. The kingdom of heaven was indeed open to all without any restrictions or exceptions, and the disciples were called to share freely. Wholeness was offered for free without any payment from us, however, the Gospel tells us that Christ paid the highest price to make this possible.

There is no doubt that Jesus expects obedience from his followers in this, and his judgment falls hard on us—you saw a hungry man, and you felt no pain in your stomach; you saw a line of refugees hoping to be allowed to stay in your country, and you slept well that night; you saw broken people, but your heart was not broken by their pain.

As a bishop, I have visited the mission of the Puno UMC in a slum area next to the city dump of Quezon City in the Philippines. We were a group of leaders, pastors, and bishops encountering people who literally have to
fight to keep their life together, parents who struggle to feed their children. They live off the dumpsite— one of their few sources of income is to clean and dry dirty plastic and sell it. Afterward, we went back to our luxury hotel, had a nice dinner, and continued our meetings.

Peter once proclaimed on behalf of the other disciples, that they thought Jesus was the Christ, the son of the living God (Matthew 16:16), but they had no idea what it meant. And when Jesus began to share what that would imply for him—that he was heading for Jerusalem to be denied, arrested, tortured, and killed, but would rise on the third day—the disciples couldn’t stomach it. But Jesus continued…. “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24)

What does it mean to be entrusted with the Gospel and the reality of wholeness? And what does it mean to be a Christian and a United Methodist taking this Gospel of wholeness out into a hurting world? I wonder if those of us living in the rich western world are really able to find the answer. To us, the only logical consequence of Jesus’ challenge is chaos, which implies that only those who have nothing to lose are
really able to follow him.

It appears that many of us, who say we want to be followers of Christ, feel it is enough to readily accept that Jesus loves us, that he listens to our prayers, and everything else that makes us feel good. We are perfectly happy settling for what Dietrich Bonhoeffer referred to as cheap grace, meaning grace without discipleship.

When Jesus calls us to follow, he is ultimately calling us to come and die with him. Following Jesus literally means to lay aside everything, to submit everything to him, our weaknesses and our strengths, our wealth—all of our stuff.

Bonhoeffer declared that the church’s first step must be to get rid of all its possessions. Of course this suggestion must be dismissed as naive and eccentric, and it has been by many who studied Bonhoeffer. But if your child is starving, then you might have a different perspective. What does it imply to deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Christ as a denomination?

It is not about a nice report and a flashy video presentation; Jesus is talking about wholeness, transformed lives; a new way of thinking, new values, and a new lifestyle. He was saying we need to die from ourselves, we need to let go of our comfortable lives and live a new life.

The mighty organism we call the church with its rich history, theology, worship, and testimony is like a great pyramid turned upside down. Christ’s intention was that the single person’s distress should be at its focal point. Every song, prayer, bishop, sacrament, and sermon should focus on that individual person in need. The distress of every single human being has a dominant priority for the living God. If we fail at this one point, we fail in all, as we are only truly the church when we exist for others.

One of the ways in which Jesus’ call to discipleship changes our perception is well expressed in the call for our denomination to be in “ministry with the poor.” We are not in ministry for the poor, we are in ministry WITH the poor. No one should be the object of our charity—we are all God’s children sharing this beautiful world, with all its resources. We are all loved by the same living God who revealed himself in this world through his son Jesus Christ, who hardly owned anything—he didn’t own his own house, was marginalized, suffered, and died—but who conquered all evil powers of this world, including the evil power of poverty.

Christ has called us to bring wholeness to our ministry. We should not only share the Gospel,food, water, healthcare, medicine, community,and education with the poor—we must address and even fight the dynamics and demonic system that create and sustain poverty.

We dare not offer bread in Christ’s name without addressing the very dynamics in the political and economic systems that brutalize human beings to an extent beyond our imagination. Through the final decade of John Wesley’s ministry he issued a series of warnings that the increasing tendency of Methodists to retain wealth instead of sharing it with those in need correlated directly with a decline in their spiritual growth and in the progress of the revival. Wesley suggests a correlation between engagement with the poor and spiritual growth.

Today we struggle with this perception. We put personal spirituality in an antithetical relationship with concern for social ministry.

Yet it says in our Book of Discipline—and I suspect this one of being inspired by the Holy Spirit: “We proclaim no personal gospel that fails to express itself in relevant social concerns; we proclaim no social gospel that does not include the personal transformation of sinners.” (¶ 101) This creative tension signifies Methodism. This is our DNA. If it doesn’t, we are something else. Lord have mercy on us.

As Colin Morris said in his book Include Me Out, “If there is still time left for Methodism, it can only be stirred into action if the power is connected between the two poles: Christ’s love and human suffering, if we feel the full effect of the strength of the first and the monstrosity of the latter.” Jesus sent out his disciples to proclaim and to live his gospel of wholeness. And he said “If any want to become my followers let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Lord, we want to follow you—have mercy on us!

Bishop Christian Alsted, The Nordic & Baltic area

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Study #9: The Woman Who Touched Jesus’ Cloak

Mark 5:25-34
Now there was a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years. She had endured much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had; and she was no better, but rather grew worse. She had heard about Jesus, and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, for she said, “If I but touch his clothes, I will be made well.” Immediately her hemorrhage stopped; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my clothes?” And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing in on you; how can you say, ‘Who touched me?’” He looked all around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling, fell down before him, and told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.” 

 
If I could just touch Jesus, even for only a minute, all will be well, Phoebe thought.

She had traveled a long way to see Jesus. Everyone had told her not to bother making the journey. “You will never be cured,” they said. “The physicians have done all they can for you. You must simply learn to endure
the pain. You will never be anything more than a diseased woman.”

But Phoebe could not accept that, even though she could feel the grip the disease had on her. She knew the physicians had tried everything. Mostly she had tried to do as they asked. If they told her not to eat certain foods, she had tried that. If they told her to walk for at least four hours every day, she tried that
too. She even tried resting when they told her that her body needed to gain strength to endure yet another treatment protocol.

As much as she tried to stay positive, Phoebe had her moments of despair too. There were times when she believed that the disease lingered despite the best efforts of the physicians, because she somehow deserved
the pain. Maybe there was some failing in her that caused the illness or at least caused the inability of her body to fight off the illness.

Something in Phoebe, despite these dark moments, never gave up. If she could just keep fighting long enough for the physicians to find something new to try, this time it would work. This time they would find a way to heal her. Phoebe kept hope alive in herself longer than her family or her physicians kept hope alive in them.

Then Phoebe heard people in the village talk about Jesus. When Phoebe heard their stories about Jesus, she knew he was the one. Jesus was the one who would heal her. On a clear, crisp spring day, Phoebe set out to find Jesus with her family’s attempts to dissuade her still ringing in her ears.

When she came to the town where Jesus was speaking after three long days on the road, she wanted to weep for joy. Then she saw the crowds and thought, have I come this far only to be prevented from speaking with him? She followed Jesus around for an entire day, never finding an opportunity to approach him, because the size of the crowd was too large and her own nerves got in the way as well. Finally, when she heard that he was going to move on, she knew she had to seize her chance. I don’t really need to talk with him, she thought, just a touch will do. He will never know and then I won’t have to face him and actually ask for his help.

Phoebe touched Jesus’ cloak lightly and felt warm, strong, healing energy radiate from Jesus the moment she made contact. Ahh, she thought, I did it, and began to ease away.

Just then, Jesus turned and looked at her directly and said, “Who touched my cloak?” He continued to look around, but she knew he was only doing it for the benefit of the crowd. He had seen her, but was not going to call her out. Instead, he was inviting her to come forward, claim her space, and publicly assert her right to receive healing.

The instant she stepped forward, Jesus turned to her with an encouraging smile, and then grasped her hands when she fell to her knees in front of him. The crowd parted and gave them room. When Jesus said, “Your
faith has made you well,” Phoebe knew her life would never be the same. And it wasn’t. Phoebe later became a respected deacon of the church, and she never forgot the lesson of being willing to seek and accept healing.

Often, those who suffer from addiction or who have experienced abuse carry a great deal of shame. Think about what you would say to someone who was carrying the shame related to addiction or abuse, or what you might say to yourself. What are the healing words you might say to that person? What are the healing words you need to hear yourself at this time? If the person who needs healing is you, is there someone you would be willing to talk to about what holds you back from seeking healing?

Have you ever wanted to engage or reengage with a familiar Bible story? Midrash stories, like the one above, are a retelling of a biblical story. Midrash stories take a bit of poetic license and ask, what if, or what came
next, so that the reader can see the story in new and unexpected ways. Writing your own Midrash story is a great way to jump into the story and create your own healing moment.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

• Have there been times you have tried to seek healing in secret without anyone knowing you were in pain, because you were ashamed of needing help?
• Have you had an experience of kneeling down before God and telling the whole truth without reservation? What did it feel like to be that honest and open?
• How far are you willing to go to find the healing and peace that you need?

Maureen Cleary, USA

Monday, March 19, 2012

Study #8: Healing the Hurt

Genesis 4:1-9
Now the man knew his wife Eve, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have produced a man with the help of the Lord.” Next she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the ground.
 
In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell.
 
The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.”
 
Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out to the field.” And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him.
 
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?”


Addiction affects the entire family. Though one or more family members may participate in addictive behaviors, non-using members suffer consequences due to poor choices and, sometimes, criminal activity of those with the disease of addiction. This became my own reality when my addiction to rage and alcohol
destroyed my first marriage.

Negative behaviors and poor choices made by the addict generate powerful emotions in the addicted person, family members, employers, and coworkers. The hurts increase with each loss—marriage, jobs, parental rights, incarceration, etc. One of the best examples of emotionally laden familial conflict is expressed in the story of Cain and Abel.

The story demonstrates the hard feelings that can spring up between siblings. Similar hurts occur when addiction stresses or fractures relationships between parents and children, employers and employees, spouses, neighbors, and coworkers. Disappointment, frustration, and broken promises abound!

As the disease evolves and the addict’s life becomes more unmanageable, intense pressure builds to explain behaviors. Consequently, addicts isolate themselves, blame others, attempt to avoid responsibility, and spend more time directly involved in obtaining and using their “drug of choice”—whether alcohol, illicit drugs, overeating, internet pornography, work, or other potentially fatal activities.

In spite of the divisive nature of addictive behaviors, healing of the hurts can be achieve through the “12 Steps.” The first step is to “admit we are powerless over the addiction and our lives have become unmanageable.” Second, “we have come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.” And, third, “we make a decision to turn our lives and our will over to God.” These first three of the 12 Steps lay the foundation upon which we build a healthier life.

Although we can’t control addicts, we can make healthy choices for ourselves. Starting the healing process can only come from an active relationship with God. Over time, we accept that we can’t stop the downward spiral of pain and suffering in addicts, and realize we don’t have to agree with their behaviors. Such acceptance and realization empowers us to remain in relationship with addicts, while disconnecting from their lifestyle and negative consequences in our lives.

Just as addicts must enter “treatment” to find recovery, we enter treatment to release addict and regain manageability of our own lives. We learn to make positive choices and set boundaries that protect us from the addicts’ behaviors.

We must become completely honest with ourselves open minded. Close friends, fellow believers, coworkers, and others can offer “input” to help us understand some of the self-defeating behaviors we developed that may have actually contributed to the addict’s behaviors. We need to be willing to do whatever it takes to become healthy in our spiritual and emotional lives. Through the sanctifying grace of God, we can be
empowered to become whole, if we will surrender and act upon the directives we discover.

While time may heal many things, healing the hurts of addiction demands action, as well as time. The changes we desire both in our loved ones and in our own lives will not come easily or swiftly. Sadly, for some addicts, the change may not come at all. Commitment to the process, support from loving friends, and the anointing of the Holy Spirit will, however, bring us amazing results. Don’t give up before the “miracle” happens!

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

• How do you really feel toward the addict?
• How do you really feel toward yourself? Toward God?
• How might you have enabled the addict in your life?
• What goal or goals can you set today that will move
you toward willingness?

Fred A. Goodwin, USA